I'm really bored and I should be doing this project, but I guess I feel like taking a minute to catch my breath. Apparently by just getting the test cases that Edwards put in the project spec, I can get a 30/50, and I'm almost there. And that 50 only accounts for half the project, with the other half being human graded, documentation stuff that I can easily make look much better later.

This is horrible. Its like 3:40 and I'm alone at night, and I miss her so much. It hurts. It really does. I've never missed anyone like this. I just wish that 81 wasn't so long, that Blacksburg and Nokesville weren't that far apart. At least we have cell phones. If not for them, I don't know what we'd do. The only thing that gets me through all this is knowing that I'm going to see her soon, Friday, in fact. Oh I can't wait. I know its only been two weeks since I saw her, but it feels so long. I don't like going this long without seeing her, and I don't want to again. All my life I think, some part of me has known that she must be out there somewhere, and now that I've found her, I can't get enough of her. And I know that maybe she doesn't believe me when I tell her that she's beautiful, but in truth, I never knew such beauty until I met her. And I don't mean just physically, I mean she's a beautiful person, and I respect, admire, and love her. She makes life make sense to me, and now that I know her, I'm just so afraid of losing her. I look at other girls now, and none of them hold a candle to her. If I ever lost her, life would just taste so bland, and I don't think any of the colors would ever be bright again. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I'd do anything for her. Just a few more days...

I guess I'll get back to my project...

I don't ever remember being this enthralled before. I haven't seen her in three days and I miss her. I've never missed anyone like this before. I've never taken so much joy in another person's joy. I've never cared about another person like this. Its strange, but before this happens, you always expect it to never happen, you always think it makes no sense, that there are certain things that you wouldn't do or feel or say, but when it comes right down to it, I'd do anything for her. And its so odd, because there are few people that I have ever met that I feel like I understand even in small ways. Yeah, I can accept how they feel about things and be tolerant and respectful, but I can't see where they're coming from all the time. With Bethany things just make sense. Even things that with anyone else might not make any sense at all make sense with her. Its like I see everyone else as an animate body with a voice box and I see her for real. And its only been two and a half months. Before that, I never expected this to happen, and now, it just all seems so obvious, like this was bound to happen, like it was obvious that she exists, like its obvious what we're supposed to do. Its just so clear. Everything else is black and white, but she's in color. I just wish she was here. But at the same time, its ok, because we have our phones and our computers, and we have our weekends in blacksburg and at home. And soon my birthday will be here and then thanksgiving, and then christmas, and I'll be home for a month. Of course, then we repeat the process, but then it will be summer. And we will both be home for like three months. Oh, how I look forward to those three months. And after that, going back to school will probably be a little easier--we will have done it once, we can do it again. And then graduation. And after that, I'll be damned if I'm not with her. Blacksburg's ties are not that strong, and neither is any place. Because after that, there are no more semesters, no more separation. After that there is just the rest of life. And oh I can't wait. A few months ago I was in absolutely no hurry to get out of here. Now I just want my degree.