We are such dorks

We talk to each other on the phone while IMing each other. Or in this case, posting to our blogs. We are such dorks. I guess that fits though. I really don't think it could happen any other way. Even in those moments of silence on the phone when we're both typing, to each other, or not, its ok because its the next best thing to sitting next to her. Almost like I can feel her heartbeat. And its always been like that. Its never really been awkward on the phone, because we've always talked on the phone, and its amazing. I can't imagine not talking to her before bed now. It just wouldn't work. It never has. Even those nights when she goes to bed a few hours before I do, its always harder to get to sleep. Hopefully someday that won't be a problem :)

And to think, I only wrote 20 pages

Minus the prufrock thing, I guess. But I really do need some kind of outlet without that notebook. Its not that I dont' talk to her enough, its just that sometimes I can't talk to her. Like late at night when she's asleep, like now. That's why I have this. And no, I haven't written anything not about her since I met her. But then again, what else do I have to say? Before it was a lot of drivel. Now at least this serves a purpose. It lets me get that stuff out when I don't have the notebook or a way to call.

I love her. Everything about her. Everything that she thinks is a flaw or a defect I think is amazing. She's the last piece of my puzzle, the only one that fits. And sometimes, when I look at her and I have this revelation again like I'm having it for the first time, its strange, but right, and natural, and perfect. I can't imagine another person in this world being more perfect. I've never wanted to be so close to someone before, to tell everything, give away everything, and do it happily and not be sad for the loss, because it isn't a loss. Its a tremendous gain. I have nothing to lose because I want to give it all away, completely. I don't feel shy or embarrassed. And I know that when I do it, it won't create problems, or anything. But at the same time, I know that it doesn't matter. Yes, I want to know things and yes, so does she, but in the end, I love her for exactly who she is and I don't want her to change a thing. So, I just keep looking forward to the next smile.